Finding the Forgotten
by Hikari-Kayko
Summary: Marcus is injured insted of Ivanova. Now Susan must figure a way to save him before its 2 late. Better summary inside. Reviewers decide on happy or sad ending, either way... rated 4 cursing and physical contact of sorts.
1. this case scenario

Title: Finding the Forgotten.

Summary: Instead of Ivanova being mortally injured in the episode "End game" Marcus pushes her out of the way just in time but can not save him self. (Their positions are flipped basically.) Now Susan is going to do anything and everything to save him before she losses the love she's only just remembered how to feel.

Spoilers: Obviously there's gonna be stuff in here about end game and previous so if you haven't see up till then, shut down your comp and go rent the freaking series!

Disclaimers: Don't own it… blah, blah, blah! JMS, the great maker, etc. You get it, now let's go!

FYI: I'm in the stage of mourning where you really just hate the world and this idea kind' a road in on that so hopefully Ivanova's attitude will come out the way I hope. If she, or any others seem out of character, tuff!

--- --- ---

Only the beating of her heart kept her rooted to the command chair as Ivanova's white star sped towards Babylon 5. She was perched at the very edge of her seat, waiting, like a cat ready to pounce on its prey.

She would be in trouble for this, no doubt. Running out on a fight like this was not something Susan believed herself capable of in a million years, but nothing mattered just now, nothing except getting to him.

As she hacked her way into the Babylon control system, Susan's mind raced over everything that had happened within the last day.

The victory had been sweet and whole, but short lived. As the other white stars had sent in their reports another catastrophe had hit them… literally.

"Susan, look out!" Marcus yelled as he dashed to her position in the forward bridge. She turned to see a large piece of debris hurtling towards her ship straight for the bridge.

She felt hands close around her shoulders and pull her back as if in slow motion. She tumbled to the floor and out of harms way recovering her balance just in time to see the forward bridge collapse.

Susan's eyes filled with tears while she finished hacking the system that would allow her to dock with out authorization on the station. The image of the last hours chasing themselves around her head, their conversation before the battle, pulling him from the wreckage, watching as the transport carrying him departed for Babylon 5 where he would spend his last few hours in piece.

But she wouldn't stand for that. So long as there was breath in her body she would see him survive. He had done everything in his power the last two years to keep her safe and as happy as this dismal universe could allow and now she was going to return the favor.

Entering the Zocalo from the docking area she saw that the station was eerily half empty. The usual hubbub of the place seemed to be stifled somehow by the electric tensions caused by the drawing of the war.

"Blue three." She commanded the lift as she stepped inside. Heart pounding in her throat, jaw set in determination she entered the med-facilities area with little difference from any. Coming to a stop in front of the med-lab security storage room she keyed in her command over-ride codes.

Entering the room she quickly found what she'd been looking for. The alien device was deceivingly bulky, but light. After reviewing all files of the matter Ivanova had come to the conclusion that this was the only way she would save Marcus, even if it meant sacrificing her own life to renew his.

Walking as swiftly and quietly as possible Susan entered med-lab three and went straight to the only occupied alcove. Setting the machine down on the bedside table she heard a noise from behind her. Whirling around she found a security officer entering the alcove.

"Commander, I didn't realize you'd returned. I'm sorry but you can't be in here…" He was cut off by the swift motion of Ivanova pulling her PPG from the holster around her waist. "What the…?"

He reached for his own gun but stopped at the sound of hers charging. "Thank you lieutenant, I've got the situation under control. You're dismissed." She informed in a low deadly voice. The sound of a PPG charging behind her caused Susan's heart to jump, though she didn't show it.

"Commander, put the weapon down. I don't won't to have to open fire on you." Another officer, female, reasoned behind her. Raising her hands in submission Ivanova let the PPG slip from her grasp and hang from her trigger finger.

As she expected the officer behind her approached her reaching for the weapon. Spotting her opening, Susan whirled around and caught the security guard in the jaw with a heavy blow, as she fell Ivanova spun around to the other before he had time to think, crouched low, and knocked him off his feet before he could open fire. The guard tried scrambling to his feet again but a well placed kick to the stomach rendered him unconscious as well.

"You're dismissed!" She growled to the again silent room. Walking back over to the bed where she'd placed the machine she looked down upon the cause for her actions.

Marcus lay quite still and asleep. He was pail and bruised all over. His breath was uneven and seemed painful. Susan wanted to weep for the state of her friend but knew if she did not keep her composure she would not achieve her goal in time.

"Just hold on a little longer, Marcus. Then all the pain will be gone." She whispered as she kissed his check with the softness of a butterfly's flutter then set to work connecting both herself and the prone ranger into the alien machine.

--- --- ---

A.N. Now, before anyone freaks out over here, IT DOES NOT END THERE!!! Okay?! There will be another chapii. I hate stories that end completely in a cliffy too so I wouldn't subject the rest of you to one either. I'm not completely heartless yet! Next chapii to follow real soon, promise! I know these words are like murder, but _be patient_. Review pleaz, or I may reconsider.

Hikari


	2. race to the resque

A.N. Two review, after all this time?!? I'm so hurt! Fine! Be that way. ; b Thanx a lot for the reviews Suzotchka and JazzyMcwier! And yes, I updated my other story too. Anyways. I was thinking this story would be a short one, two or three chapiis but now I think about it, it will probably be long. Sorry, but read on anyways! And review gursh damn it! The button won't bite (hard) I swear, Pleaz?! vv,

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"Computer, seal the doors to med-lab three." Ivanova demanded as she finished hooking herself and the Ranger to the machine. She wasn't going to take any chances.

"Unable to comply. Sealing med-lad doors is in direct violation of safety codes 27-f and alpha 768-a." The stale voice of the computer droned in response. "Authorization for this action lies with Security chief of Babylon 5. A notice will be sent…"

Susan's heart jumped as she heard something move out side of the doors. "Like hell." She whispered and taking her PPG she fired one shot at the key panel on the inside of the door. It popped and fizzled jamming the door shut for at least a short while.

Turning back to her task she looked down at Marcus, a single tear slipped down her face. Brushing stray strands of hair away from his pale face she whispered, "I'm so sorry," and flipped the machine on.

--- --- ---

"Franklin to Security!" Steven shouted into his link as he raced out of the customs area and into the main corridor of the station headed towards the nearest lift.

"Security here, Doctor, go ahead," A calm voice came over the line.

"I need a security team down in med-lab three, stat!" Franklin shouted as he skidded into the lift and called urgently for his destination.

"Is something wrong Sir?" The voice on the line asked as he scrambled a team as ordered.

"Yes, something is wrong! Something is _very_ wrong!"

--- --- ---

Reaching the doors to med-lab Steven found the security team standing outside. "What the hell are you all waiting for?!" He demanded.

"Sir, the doors have been deactivated from the inside. We can't get through without prying them open." One of the officers informed the frantic doctor.

"Then do it! Don't just stand around!"

"Yes sir!"

--- --- ---

Susan still lay propped up against the bed which held Marcus. She was twiddling with his hair as the machine chugged on draining her life into him. Every once in a while she heard a noise from outside, but knew they would have their hands full for some time to come.

"I wish it could have been different." Another tear slipped from her eyes and she nestled her head underneath his and whispered. "I love you."

--- --- ---

"Doctor Franklin, we've got the door open!" One of the guards shouted as the maintenance crew heaved open one side of the sliding double doors.

"Alright, I need Med-team One ready for anything, understand?" Steven demanded as they flew through the door to med-lab all at once. The experienced team fanned out, some tending to the wounded security guards while the rest headed straight for Ranger Cole's exam room.

As Stephen whipped back the privacy curtains he surveyed the scene he dreaded so. Susan was unconscious, and he could see her breathing was shallow.

"God damn it, Susan!" Franklin cursed surging across the distance to slam off the machine and disconnect the device from the Commander's arm before it could complete its solemn task. "Get that damned thing off him!" he ordered to the tech that now appeared at Marcus' side. The aide remove the cuff as fast as he could, whisking the machine away from sight.

"Someone get me a gurney!" Franklin yelled over his shoulder to the scrambling team behind him. Moments later three techs were lifting the Commander onto the wheeled bed and another two were racing her off to the adjacent exam area. "Start her on a saline drip and get her on monitors, I'll be right there!" he ordered across the medical facility to his staff.

"How is he?!" He asked finally turning his attention back to the original patient.

"His readings are actually stronger! I can't believe it!" The tech examining the Ranger answered in awe.

Stephen roughly ripped back Marcus' shirt to reveal a pale chest, skin free of the contusions and lacerations that had nearly covered it before. He ran his hand over the newly unblemished skin as if he didn't believe it. "I'll be damned."

"Do you think it's actually possible he'll make a full recovery, sir?" The addled tech asked Franklin.

"Stranger things have happened." He said pulling Marcus' shirt back down. They had no more time to ogle over the wonders of the alien device. There was a woman in the next room in dire need of assistance. Stephen would worry later about chewing her out for such idiotic and insane behavior, and boy would he! But first she had to live through the night.

That, it turned out, would be the real miracle.

--- --- ---

A.N. Bah, hah! I did it! Pat on the back. and I know, it's about damn time too!!! Don't worry; the part where every body's miffed at each other is up next. giggles so hold your horses and fates willing I'll be back with the next chapii with in the month.

T - T - F - N - !

Hikari


	3. scratch that plan

A.N. I lied, I know, I'm a bad person, but school's bloody horrible right now! I just finished three projects all due tomorrow and I still have another even bigger one due next Friday. (Teacher equals Slave Driver) But anyways, my fan fiction life has been severely diminished as of the past few weeks. I'll try harder come December, promise. But anyways, you came to read a story and by all the powers I'm gonna give it to ya! Les-go!

--- --- ---

The first thing Susan heard as her mind slowly surfaced into consciousness was someone in the next room sounding less than enthralled. Opening her eyes she looked around to survey her surroundings.

A medical bed, white sheets, IVs, _Oh, no…_ she turned her head, slowly as she found that everything was in quite an amount of pain at the moment, when the door clicked open and a small crowd of people entered. John, Steven and Delenn enter each wearing their own version of a grimace.

"Susan, it's good to see you finally awake." Franklin said as he checked her IVs and other assorted equipment around her. His words were caring, but his tone was angry and annoyed. Susan thought about a witty comeback but found that even swallowing was near agony.

"What happened?" At first she chocked on the words and then they were raspy and hard to form, but slowly Susan found her voice. Delenn looked like she herself was confused, not knowing what to think, but Steven had his mind set already.

"What happened? What – _happened?! _You damn well know _exactly_ what happened. You ran out on us in the middle of one of the most important battles of the war, then you came back here, knocked an unsuspecting security guard senseless, gave the other one a concussion, blew out the med-lab doors locking system and fried half the corridor's other systems… need I go on?"

John placed a restricting hand on the fuming doctor's shoulder and Franklin glared a moment longer, his jaw muscles working furiously in the silence, before exited the room in a stiff fashion leaving the others behind the door as he slammed it shut.

"Is Marcus…" Susan wasn't sure if it was her injuries or emotions that got in the way of her speech this time but Delenn saved her the trouble of reiterating by stepping up.

"Marcus is well. I believe the doctors say he will recover nicely now, thanks to you, Commander." She gave her a reassuring smile and squeezed her hand in a show of support. Susan might have told the gentle Minbari woman that, though her gesture was comforting it hurt like hell to her weakened body, had she the energy to do so.

Delenn gave John an unreadable look before retreating behind the closed door as well leaving no one but the Commander and her superior officer.

"How long have I been out?" Susan asked trying to ignore his gaze. It is one thing, she thought, to have to face the people you've betrayed when you thought you wouldn't ever have to. It was another thing completely, however, to have to face _that_ gaze while in such a rendered state and position.

"Nearly three weeks. You missed all the action. We won. The League is now an official governing body." He pulled up a chair and relaxed his posture, though his voice held no note of forgiveness.

"Oh?" Susan asked trying to move her stiff body without causing any self inflicted pain. "Governing body, eh. So who's the leader?" She wanted to laugh out loud when she saw the expression on his face, but feared it would cause more discomfort than was worth.

For the first time his voice held a tinge of amusement. "Yes sir. You're looking at the first ISA President in history. And I believe you've met my wife, the Madam President." He joked giving her the old farmer boy's grin as Susan's eyebrows rose.

"Wow," She conceded after a few seconds silence. "I really did miss a lot. I'll have to remember that next time I'm considering my options." She quickly looked away when she found the seriousness return in his expression.

"Susan, why did you do it?" She grimaced at the hurt in his voice and the lost puppy look he unknowingly gave. For a moment she actually thought she might cry but quickly found her composer (or as much as you could have lying flat in a hospital bed) and found her words with it.

"Believe me John, if there had been any other way, I would have taken it. But I couldn't let him go. I couldn't let him die not knowing all the things he should have." As she expected her predictable friend protested further.

"But you could have at least waited a little longer. I mean, we needed you there for that battle…" Susan looked him straight in the face and this time she was sure she _was_ crying at least a little.

"John, if Delenn lay dying somewhere that you weren't and you knew you just might have a chance to save her… wouldn't you?" He looked very hurt by his conflicting emotions and internal rulings and in fact, as Susan thought, it looked as though he would speak again. As if he might tell her that this was a totally different situation, but the human behind the uniform, the one who gladly referred to this woman as his little sister, could say nothing.

He gave her one more halfhearted smile and gently grasped her shoulder in understanding then left with out another word.

--- --- ---

A.N. I know, I know it sucked, but hold the rotten vegetables for just a sec while I explain!!! (Gets hit squarely in the head with an avocado that splatters everywhere. Hears sister running off into the distance laughing maniacally.) Who? God… son of a … MARY!!

Mmmmm… avocado… Anyways, like I was saying. It sucked, it was short, and this I know! But six weeks exams are going and I need SLEEP!!! Pleaz forgive, I will try and post again by next week, but don't hold me to that!

Updates A.S.A.P. don't forget to review!

(The button is your friend, go to the button!!! .)

HIKARi


	4. I knew

**A/N: Holy Crap!!! It's been… what? Two years?! O.o Wow, I feel like a slacker! I was cleaning out my account on FFN, deleting old crap that really shouldn't be endured by public eyes, ya know. And I opened this preparing to say good bye to one of my babies before I deleted it and I looked at the reviews and I just **_**couldn't**_** do it!!! I'm sorry it's been a long time and I really do have a good reason for stopping writing this when I did. I began writing it after my friend Ashlyn died and I stopped writing it just after my Father died that same year. But since then I have made my way through High School and even lived in Ireland for six months on a foreign exchange program. And now, I'm a senior in High School. (sigh) My life should be a soap opera… I bet I could make some money writing it too. Oh-to-the-well. My writing has improved in those two years though and I can only hope this story will be better for it. If you stuck by me and still have my story on your alert list then… DAMN!!! you got some patience!!! Lmao. But if you didn't (you're not hearing this anyways so, uuuh!) or if you're a new reader then WELCOME!!! I hope you enjoy, I've edited some more so the previous chapiis won't frighten English instructors quite so much. Hope you like it! **

**--- --- --- **

Susan woke again many days later to a sharp stinging in her left hand. She opened her eyes slowly and with much difficulty to see a nurse standing over her. She was changing the IV needle in Susan's hand apparently sure that it wouldn't disturb her.

Susan opened her mouth but could only make a weak coughing noise, but this appeared sufficient enough to catch the woman's attention as she yelled, "Doctor Franklin, the Commander is awake again!" Steven came barreling through the door at the sound of the woman's calls and quickly approached Susan's bed side.

"Ivanova, thank god, we thought you weren't going to wake up again." Susan was surprised at the man's reaction seeing as how the last time he'd left the room it was a definite possibility that he would never speak to her again.

"How long have I been out?" Ivanova asked trying to clear the sleep induced fog from her consciousness.

"Almost five days," Steven supplied pulling out a small light and shining it into her eyes then checking other vital signs. "You weren't in a comma, but we couldn't wake you up for anything. John's been all bent out of shape about it the past few days, not to mention Marcus…"

"How is Marcus?" Susan asked when the doctor's ramblings had trailed off. Franklin, now appearing satisfied with her present condition gave her a concerned look.

"He's fine physically, emotionally and mentally I can't say, he won't talk to me unless it's about you. I think you're scaring him a little too much for his comfort." Susan was thoroughly confused.

"Why have I been asleep so long, I feel like I haven't slept in weeks." She attempted to sit up on her own and when that failed Steven assisted until she was propped up at least partially on a few pillows.

"We're trying to work that out now. I think it has something to do with the alien healing device, but I'm not sure. The machine drained and converted energy on a cellular level, it's like nothing we've ever seen before." A pang of guilt surfaced in her thoughts again at the memories. After all this she was starting to second guess herself, a bit late in the game though it obviously was.

"Is it going to get any better, or am I going to sleep for weeks at a time for the rest of my life?" An unreadable expression crossed Franklin's face and Susan became more guarded. "What?"

"Susan… we have no idea how this machine operates. I don't know what the procedures are for repairing its damage if there even _is_ a way." Susan looked grim for a moment before thinking of something else.

"So what's going…?" But before she could finish a wave of exhaustion hit her like a ton of bricks and for a moment she thought she would pass out as her eyes closed of their own will and her body seemed to vanish from her control.

When she opened her eyes again Steven was shaking her shoulders animatedly, trying to snap her out of it. "What happened?" She asked with weak alarm after assuring him that she was still conscious.

"I don't know!" Franklin said frantically scanning every monitor around her. "That's how we lost you the last time, you just fell asleep!" Apparently flustered about this fact he turned back to the commander and grimaced, not able to find anything new in the read outs. "I told Marcus I'd find him if you woke up again… is it okay if I get him now?" Susan thought for a moment, then nodded her head slowly and Franklin left.

While he was gone Susan took the time to prop herself up a little further and think everything through. So she hadn't killed herself initially like she'd thought. No, now she was tottering on the verge of oblivion just waiting for the final time when she'd fall asleep and be unable to awaken again.

"This is what I get for rushing into things." She told herself bitterly trying to think of what she would say when Marcus arrived. She didn't have long to contemplate though as Steven reentered ten minutes later with the Ranger in toe.

"I'll leave you two alone for a while." Steven offered feebly before shutting the door with a sharp snap leaving Susan under the haunting stare of Marcus' green eyes.

He stayed very still for a long moment and Susan tried to stay as static as possible while Marcus continued to stare. "I don't understand, Susan." He finally said quietly looking down at the floor.

Ivanova would have asked what he meant if she'd thought it would have made things easier. "I couldn't just stand there like a good solider Marcus… I think everyone here would have done it for someone they love." Wrong choice of words… well, right choice, wrong moment. But Marcus didn't seem shocked or even slightly moved, instead he stayed exactly were he was staring at the floor.

"I know…" He said simply looking up again. An awkward moment past where Susan actually considered passing out again to be a reprieve, though it didn't happen. "I just don't understand why it happened. I was supposed to save you, not the other way around." Susan could see an internal war wagging and wondered what he meant.

"Well, if you hadn't pushed me out of the way to begin with we wouldn't be in this situation now would we?" Susan said bristling at the renewed anger she had initially felt when he'd saved her life on the White Star.

As always, Marcus rose to the challenge, "Oh, really? So now it's my fault that you used that bloody machine is it? We'll I'm glad we've sorted out all the blame here. I was starting to wonder why fingers weren't being pointed yet."

Susan could feel the anger boiling just beneath the surface as she retorted, "Look, I'm not pointing a finger at anyone, but what you did _was_ pretty damned stupid!"

"_You're_ talking to _me_ about stupid? Sorry, I rather thought it was you that used an alien device to save another's life landing you in between the rock and the hard spot where you are," Marcus bit back fuming with rage.

"Look I'm sorry, but…" Susan was going to end the argument with a simple confession, but Marcus surprised her.

"No!" He barked out silencing her immediately. "No… don't apologize." He seemed to lose all of his anger in a single exhale and looked up into her eyes with a sorrowful expression. "I'm the one who should be sorry, I knew… I just wasn't fast enough, I… I'm sorry Susan." And he left leaving the door slightly ajar in his hast to escape.

Susan sat there staring at the door for a long while. What had he meant by,_ "I knew… I just wasn't fast enough."_ He hadn't known what was going to happen, no one had. He couldn't have prevented the accident from happening, try as he did… could he?

--- --- ---

**A/N Dramatic music! And the plot thickens!! Again, thank you, I know I'm an awful person who should have paid more attention to this fic, but I've just let it go for a while without much concern. I'll try to finish it, I really will. Even if it takes me an eternity or two, I'll get it done. BUT, only if you review and tell me you haven't completely given up on me and cursed my very name for all time for my incompetent performance! Anyways, Review damn it, or I will be forced to release the one legged space chickens on your sorry asses! OR worse yet, the demon coconut bearing hamsters from… OKAY! I'm gonna stop there before I hurt myself, eh? Just review, pleaz. **

**HIKARi **


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